WHAT A CUP OF COFFEE TAUGHT ME TODAY

Coffee! It’s one of my loves. But honestly, what I really love is the idea of coffee. I love the emotions that come with it. I love holding a cup of coffee in my hands on a cold day. I LOVE the smell of coffee. I love sitting down with friends, a cup of coffee in hand, and talking for hours. I love the “dates” that I have with my daughters. I love that my daughters feel blessed when I treat them to a Starbucks or a Dunkin coffee. But, until 3 weeks ago when I was forced to drink ONLY black coffee, I really did NOT like the taste of coffee. Now, I need to clarify something. If you order me a vanilla latte… Well, actually, just about any latte from Starbucks or you bring me a frozen, sugar free coconut coffee from Dunkin or a sugar free vanilla latte from McDonalds, well, then I am all in and I thoroughly enjoy every sip! But black coffee? I was definitely not a fan. I could drink it if I had to, but I rarely enjoyed it. So what does coffee have anything to do with my walk with Jesus? This morning, I poured a cup of coffee and I suddenly had a beautiful picture of my relationship with Jesus. Let me give you a clearer picture as to why that cup of coffee was so significant this morning. For the past 14 days, I have been doing a bible study “plan” on an App on my phone. The App tells me a lot about my walk with God. It let’s me earn badges, keeps track of what I should be reading, gives me chapter and verses…. Even lets me know my “streaks”... how often I am in the word. As silly as it sounds, it is very motivating. My current streak is 25 days and 3 perfect weeks. Perfect? Well, I think that is something we can certainly argue. But I can’t remember a time that I have gone 25 days in a row, not missing my bible reading; and soaking in every word I read, finding myself longing for more. What caused me to sit down and write today is the plan that my dear friend and I are doing. She had invited me to do a study with her, 25 days ago, that changed my world. It was a 7 day plan and God used it to begin an amazing work in my heart. After that, I chose a 21 day fast and prayer plan. After the 7 day study with my friend, my hunger for God was burning. When I saw that this plan’s purpose was to “Open Heaven” and see that “God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him”, and I read that by choosing this plan, I may experience a greater sense of God’s presence, have clarity in hearing His voice, and a release of His favour and power on my life”... I was in! Honestly, right now, more than anything in this world, I want to hear God’s voice. I want to sit at his feet and soak Him up. I have always been a “Martha” and secretly looked at Mary with resentment and boredom. Yep, boredom. I thought sitting at his feet sounded exhausting. It may be that I have realized and have self diagnosed myself as having A.D.D; Attention Deficit Disorder (for those who don’t know what ADD stands for). And when I say I have A.D.D., I will often add a few extra D’s on the end for good measure because I feel I have it pretty strongly! So sitting at someone’s feet and just listening sounded impossible and definitely not exciting at all. Give me the service, I will serve God all day long. I will do, do, do… but rarely will I sit and soak in His word. Don’t get me wrong, I read His word, but I love “hearing it” more. I love to listen to the bible while I am doing something else at the same time. I love to listen to sermons… while I am able to do something else at the same time. But sit down, on my own free will, and study? Ha! Not a chance! In the past, that seemed so foreign and beyond impossible. (on a side note - that is why a 25 day streak is a VICTORY!) So, despite my deep desire to draw near to God, I have not taken the time to “sit and be still”. Oh, back to my coffee analogy. A 21 day fast and prayer. Not a fast from all food for 21 days, it is a fast that has me give up something that would be hard to give up. The idea is to pray during the time that you typically would be eating or doing that thing. I chose to do a Whole30 meal plan. Why Whole30? Well, I am pretty much addicted to sugar and junk food. My health is declining and I KNOW that Whole30 is a healthy and wise meal plan. It would require me to give up a lot AND try to figure out if there is any type of food that is triggering some of my health issues. It seemed like a win/win. But, 2 weeks into it, I have realized that, honestly, a meal plan change is simply that, it isn’t a good way to “fast”. I think I needed to choose something like breakfast,or lunch, or dinner… an entire meal. Why? Because the fast is supposed to cause you to replace whatever it is you are fasting with prayer. A meal is perfect because it is a set time… time that you would typically eat, instead, you pray. If I am giving up some temptation of sugar/junk…. It only takes a little bit of will power, and I have “empty” time; meaning, I don’t have a set amount of time to really pray. I just simply don’t eat it, and maybe even moan about it, but I do NOT focus on God. So, I am sure you are still wondering why coffee is what caused me to sit down and begin typing. Yesterday, my friend came over for breakfast. She is fasting breakfast and I am doing the Whole30 (which means NO sugar free syrup or cream in my coffee. I have broken down twice before and put syrup and cream in it. But, all the other times, I drank it black. Yesterday, she ate breakfast and I had my yummy coffee with syrup and cream! It was delicious. No big deal, right? One coffee. Just one cup...well…. Three cups later I was soaking up the delicious drink and still wanting more. And then she stayed for lunch. I made some trail mix to serve with lunch…. Almonds, unsweetened coconuts, pumpkin seeds, raisins… and chocolate chips. I added the chips for a sweet taste for my guests. Guess what I ate all day long? Yep, trail mix with chocolate chips. Again, no big deal. I justified it by reminding myself I had already broken the fast for that day, so chocolate chips wouldn’t hurt much. . I woke up this morning to a new day and ready to restart my “fast” - Whole30 -back to black coffee. I had to admit, though, that after drinking black coffee for three weeks, I was starting to enjoy it, actually enjoying the richness of the flavor and almost looked forward to it. So I poured my black coffee and I drank a cup while I sat and read my devo. After spending time in the word, I got up and went to pour myself a second cup, but this time, I thought of the delicious tasting coffee that I had made yesterday and pretty much said to myself “what harm is there with just a little bit of sugar free syrup and a little bit of cream? I am eating everything else like Whole30 says I should. One tablespoon of each will not harm me. Goodness, I even decided that I would do less, just a teaspoon; enough to take the edge off of the black taste. That wouldn’t be a big deal at all. And so I did. I put it in. And I took 3 sips. I wanted that coffee. I did. I wanted it really badly. But, those sips weren’t satisfying to me, and I boldly thought that they weren’t worth doing something I had told God that I wouldn’t do. So, instead, I put my travel cup of coffee in the sink… nearly full… and left the door for church. It sat there all morning long. When I came home, I started making lunch. I rinsed off a dish, and there it was, in the sink. I hadn’t emptied it. It was full of coffee and I knew it was still nice and warm and that it wasn’t black. That sounded good to me. I picked it up and took some sips. It was warm, but not piping hot, so I stuck it in the microwave and heated it up, sat down and began to drink my coffee with just a little bit of syrup and a little bit of cream; enough to make it not taste black, to hide the bitterness of the black coffee.. It was just a little bit of syrup, just a small amount of cream. I thought about that. I thought about the draw it had on me. I looked into the coffee. It wasn’t pure any longer, the color had changed. It was ever so slightly, faintly lighter, brown color. That ever so small change in color and that hint of sweetness. It was there and there was nothing I could do to get rid of it. Just a small amount. I could justify drinking it. It certainly wasn’t going to hurt me in any way. The temptation was real. I had two choices. Drink it or throw it out. And I thought about it a bit more. And then the questions started; a conversation in my mind. Didn’t I give this up for God? Wasn’t I supposed to drink it black? God doesn’t really want me to give up my coffee, wouldn’t He understand? I am giving up so much more! I haven’t had ice cream or even one chip. I have eaten so well! I feel so good. One cup of delicious coffee isn’t a big deal, is it? Then I sat down thinking about it a little bit longer and I decided that it really wasn’t a big deal. I had already blown it yesterday. Maybe I would just stick to Whole30 and have my delicious coffee in the mornings. And once I had decided that it was ok and I really wasn’t breaking my fast with God, I was all in. But now, that tiny amount of syrup and cream…. It wasn’t enough to satisfy me. I had cheated by putting just a small amount in, but it wasn’t delicious, it still tasted kind of bitter. I needed more, I wanted more. I was in a dilemma now. Put more in? Or throw it all out? Could I justify having more? I had already cheated… so what was a little bit more. Why not make it thoroughly satisfying? And so I did, all the while, a battle began to rage in my head. I began wondering if I was cheating on God, was I letting him down? Would He punish me for it? While the other part of my brain was saying, it is just sugar in a cup of coffee…. What’s the big deal? It isn’t adultery, I’m not committing a sin…. It is sugar for goodness sake. And really, I have failed in fasting already, I will just not have any more until the end of our 21 days. I am guessing by now that you have an idea how my cup of coffee reminds me of my walk with Jesus. The picture that comes to my mind is SIN. How easily we mix sin into our lives and how easily it is to justify it, convince yourself that it is ok, and then do it; never satisfied and always wanting more. The scripture that comes to my mind at first is found in Galatians 5:7-9 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” Today, I saw my coffee differently. I looked at my coffee like my walk with Jesus. When I drink it pure black, nothing changes the taste, nothing added … just pure, black coffee, I am reminded of my pure, simple relationship with Jesus. The more days that go by, I find myself learning to enjoy black coffee; enjoying the smooth taste, the richness of the flavor, the simpleness of it…. All are things I have come to appreciate. But the sugar and the creamer? I may think about them and have the strength to not touch them. Just like sin. But have it there, in plain sight and the temptation becomes real and stronger every second. Dabble in it for just a moment and it grabs a hold of you, causing you to long for more, just a little bit more; justifying it every minute. Second guessing your strength, giving yourself reasons to give in. Then once you do, the taste isn’t all that good. Guilt, questions, thoughts consume you at first, then little by little, you get used to it and it doesn’t seem like sin any longer. You might even pay an outrageous price for it, willingly, just to enjoy it for a moment. And then you find that a moment turns into a few times a week, which turns into daily and soon, all too quickly, you realize that you have paid a very costly amount for something that is of no value. But if you begin to put those things away, out of sight, and you force yourself to drink it black again, you will find that your craving for sugar and cream will slowly go away and you will enjoy the deep, dark , bold richness of a pure cup of coffee.